Women are often criticized for
"wearing slutty attire" or "dressing like a slut", and I
don't like it. Clothing choice doesn't define what the frequency of a person's
sexual activity is. For example, if you encounter one person in a suit and
another person in short shorts, it is entirely possible that the person in the
suit is the more promiscuous one between the two. Not that there's nothing
wrong with that: see my post on “sluttiness”. I often see the assumption that this
"slutty" attire is only asking for unwanted attention. Maybe that's
the case in some places of our society, but it really shouldn't be the case
anywhere, and if anything's to be discouraged it should specifically be
unwanted behavior.
Of course we all have hormones, but most
people should be capable of learning to control them well enough to respect the
space and privacy of others. For example, as a straight male I won't deny that
I check out women every now and then, but I'm not obnoxious or ridiculous when
I do it. I make a point of being subtle because I respect other people well
enough to avoid doing things that will make anyone uncomfortable, and it's easy
to do with just a quick glance and no creepy or aggressive behavior. By all
means it is generally acceptable to approach an attractive
woman. However, it is unacceptable to not respect the woman’s wishes or to
violate the woman’s comfort zone.
In the end, while it can't be helped to
a degree since it is in our nature to judge, I think it's a good idea to avoid
judging one another based on what we're wearing. Look beyond the appearance and
see the person. Let the person express himself or herself how it works for
them, and treat them as a person rather than getting caught up in their attire.
I strongly encourage treating everyone with respect no matter anyone's choice of
attire.
By definition, you cannot define whether or not you are harassing someone by looking at them. Sexual harassment is decided upon by the one harassed.
ReplyDeleteSo... it doesn't matter how subtle you think you might be. There is no way for you (as a male) to know ahead of time whether any "checking out" you do every now and again would be make them uncomfortable.
That's a good point- we can't always know. Still, we can always do our best to not make women uncomfortable by avoiding things like catcalling, making weird comments to them, following them around, etc.
ReplyDeleteCan you define what "slutty attire" for me, because I don't get it. One should never judge someone by appearance only, your right on that. But slutty implies a sexual connation to it. Also these comments are a matter of personal perception.
ReplyDeleteAnything that makes someone say "she's dressed like a slut." Some examples of clothing that gets could be a mini skirt, low-cut shirts, short shorts, and yoga pants. This whole post is my personal perception of the issue, though its main purpose it to discourage judging one another on our expression through clothing and respecting one another no matter what we wear.
ReplyDeletedonkeh, your definition grounded in "making someone say something" is not very helpful -- because the threshold for what causes someone to make a disparaging remark is different for different people. So instead, I'll try and define it based on male physiology, since there are objective ways to measure sexual response:
ReplyDelete"Slutty attire" is clothing specifically designed to attract the male gaze
with the goal of causing sexual arousal.
Now, that's easy for men to understand (because they're the ones being aroused. So here's a definition that might be easier for women to understand:
"Slutty attire" is clothing deliberately chosen by the woman with the objective
of provoking a positive change in how the male interacts with the clothes wearer.