The “friend zone.” A new phrase being used referring to a relationship where one person (most commonly a man), wants
to enter a sexual or romantic relationship, while the other person does not. When
did this become popular? Why is it a thing? I like to tell myself that the
“friend zone” came out and about because more women are having the confidence
to say no to men. Which is totally awesome! If you’re not into a guy it’s
really okay to say it. Just because he’s nice it doesn’t mean you should feel
guilted into sleeping with him. Lets be real here, if a guy gets mad at you for
not sleeping with him and putting him in the “friend zone” is he really that
nice of a guy? Shouldn’t he respect you enough to know that if you’re not
interested, you’re just not interested! Listen up guys! Women do not owe you
their bodies. They have every right to say no, even if you are a nice guy. Just
because you’re a “nice guy” does not mean that a girl automatically wants to
sleep with you. What else are you bringing to the table besides the fact you’re
pleasant? Think about it.
The “friend zone”
besides being totally wacko is also extremely sexist. When you think of the
“friend zone” you commonly think of the male being the friend zonee, and the
female being the friend zoner. Why is it that? It’s not because women are
“friend zoned” any less than their male counterparts. Women are conditioned to
think that if a man doesn’t want them back its because “they’re not pretty
enough”, “they’re doing something wrong”, or “I’m not his type”. Why is it that
when a woman doesn’t want to hook up they’re a “friend zoning bitch”? The
“friend zone” says a lot about men’s confidence levels.
Sex isn’t
something you deserve. You don’t deserve a hand job because you helped your
female friend pack for school. You don’t deserve a quickie because you let your
female friend vent to you. Being a good friend does not mean you deserve to get
in their pants. Men need to stop believing that every nice deed needs a reward.
Try doing something nice without expecting anything in return; otherwise you’re
going to have a very disappointing future.
Women don't place men into the "friend zone". Men place themselves into it. If the man reacts by namecalling (like "friend zoning bitch"), that is a pretty clear example of why the woman considered them unsuitable for a romantic or sexual relationship.
ReplyDeleteOn the other hand, if the man decides to break off all contact with a woman after an LJBF speech, they should not be namecalled or shamed for doing so. Just as women don't owe men their bodies, men don't owe women their support.
I think its also important to remember that women (and men) aren't nice to you just because they want you. Just because a girl gives you a compliment on your new haircut or a guy tells you that you look nice today does not mean they are automatically interested in you as more than a friend. That is on you for assuming those kinds of things. I think this post is extremely important for people to read. Personally, I'm really sick of people complaining about being "friend-zoned."
ReplyDeleteI try and live in an idealistic fantasy world where everyone is nice to everyone else as their default way of interacting with others. But unfortunately, I live in a world where my corporation requires that I attend mandatory harassment training every year.
DeleteSo I can say that in the modern workplace, there are times when complimenting someone of the other sex on their new hairstyle, or even saying that they look nice, is problematical under some circumstances.