On "Masculinity" and "Femininity"

            Men and women have always been divided by such a strong binary. Men are expected to have “masculine” qualities while women are expected to have “feminine” qualities. I find this binary to be quite restrictive. There are some inherent differences in biological sex: for example, basic anatomical structure. But most differences between the sexes are only caused by the pressures and expectations of society. I find that the ideal state of a person would be in combining these designated “masculine” and “feminine” traits, rather than going to either extreme. In this post, I will use emotional expression as my main example.

            Men are generally expected to be the less emotional sex. If a man cries, he will be judged more than if a woman were to cry in the same situation. While controlling emotions can be helpful in remaining calm, I find that always suppressing them is not healthy. Emotions bottle up if they are not expressed, and since men are more restricted in their emotional expression, sticking to this mold of masculinity all of the time only serves to unnecessarily trap emotions within men. Toughness and ability to put emotions aside to deal with situations rationally are great qualities, but sensitivity and care are also great qualities to have.

            Women are generally expected to be the more emotional sex. If a woman is not expressive with her emotions, she will often be judged as a “bitch”, while a man that does the same thing will not be judged. While emotions are important, learning to control them is an important skill that is far more encouraged in men than in women. Women are expected to be more emotionally dependent, which is restrictive because it discourages women from becoming independent and self-sustaining. Women should not be judged for holding back emotions just as men should not be judged for showing emotions.

            Ultimately, I believe that the healthiest expression comes from utilizing both “masculine” and “feminine” traits. Any person, man or woman, that can show a tougher side when there is a need to be strictly logical but also show a sensitive side when care is needed, is the most suited to dealing with a variety of situations. I believe that men and women should both be encouraged to express themselves as it works best for them, rather than forcing men to always be “masculine” by restricting emotion and forcing women to always be “feminine” by overdoing emotion.