Family
Structure in a Same-Sex Couple
Family
is one of the most universal and wonderful unions to have and be a part of.
Many people argue family is defined by blood but that isn’t necessarily the
case. What makes any family successful and true is love. Without love, a family
isn’t really a family; instead, they’re just a small group of people. Love is
thicker than blood.
A
family is a group consisting of parents and children living together in a
household. Does that necessarily mean a group consisting of a mother, father and children? Most people interpret the social norm of
parents as a mother and father, however, this “norm” is rapidly fading out.
There are a number of qualities a good parent has. Some of the most important
are: committing themselves to their children, protecting them, teaching them
and loving them. Two mothers and two fathers are very capable of doing that. The
component that sways people to think a same-sex couple is unjust for having
children are gender roles.
The
stereotypical and all American family includes a mother, father and children
who all have obligations. The dad is ideally a hardworking man who is career
oriented and does most of the physical labor like yard work and takes care of
bills. The mom is preferably an excellent housewife who cooks, cleans and tends
to the children. These assigned duties have definitely changed in society. Now,
women are more career oriented and can do more than just be a housewife while
men aren’t only limited to their work. These are the gender roles that many
people are familiar and comfortable with which is why the idea of having a
same-sex couple having children is preposterous.
If
people were to let go of the stereotypical gender roles that a man and woman
are supposed to play, then the thought of a family with two moms or dads wouldn’t
be so offsetting. The most important thing to remember is, it doesn’t really
matter who children grow up with, but that they are being raised by individuals
who love them and treat them well. Isn’t that what society should be like?
I agree that we need to expand our thoughts and open our minds about what constitutes a "family." You are right in acknowledging the need to accept same sex couples as a family. But I would add something more, something else that society is awfully close-minded about: a family can be a family even if the two partners don't have children. Women, although now viewed as potentially career oriented, are still strongly pressured and expected to have children. If a woman chooses not to have kids, the response is usually "Oh well then your life won't be fulfilled" or "who will take care of you when you are old." If it is a young woman saying she does not want kids the response is "Oh, you'll change your mind."
ReplyDeleteSince my sister was 7 years old she has said she does not want children. She is now 25 and still feels the same way, only stronger. And she has to deal with annoying encouragements from my entire family that try to change her mind. But to be a family, her and her fiancé don't need children. The two of them and their friends are a family to them. They need not grow any larger in number if they do not want to.
How does a same-sex couple model a healthy gender role for a child of the opposite sex?
ReplyDeleteYou are so incredibly right, I agree with you. I was focusing more on the "traditional" kind of family in this particular piece. Your suggestion is something that can be written in its blog post which I will do very soon! Thank you for your feedback :)
ReplyDelete