Why You Shouldn't Leave Just Yet

Running out of ideas for a new post, I stumbled upon an article about “leaving feminism.” While reading, I grew more and more annoyed after each line. The author's lessons on feminism taught her entirely different ideas than all the sources I have ever read. I could spend hours, pages, and way too many words going over why the “feminist teachings” that made her leave feminism were read entirely wrong, but that would be a waste of all our time. Although I didn't like her overall post, she makes one good point about the “quick to speak before thinking” that some (maybe more vocal) feminists do.

For instance (looking at only one point from the article) one reaction from feminists that made this author want to quit the movement was: “Real equality is when women have the right to be as drunk and stupid as men,”  instead of taking self-defense or learning to watch out for drugged drinks. But by making this point they were missing the real issues behind it, as I think the author was when she decided to throw in the towel.

The author wrote: “Do feminists really care about women’s safety at all? Or do they care more about their dream world..?” I don’t know who you have been talking to, but the feminists I know care very much about the safety of women. So much so that it’s one of the goals of feminism to create a world where women can feel safe, where women can drink as much as they want to at parties without worrying about what might happen to them, where they can walk down the street at night and not be so afraid of the figure heading their direction that they cross the street to avoid them. We want women to be safe, (so safe that they might never need self-defense classes) but there must be major changes made to this world before that can ever happen. 

         In a feminist’s dream world:

           *girls are thought to be careful because there are dangers out there while boys are also taught that the kind of behavior that puts girls in danger is unacceptable.

           *girls are taught to protect themselves but boys are also taught that there are real consequences if they victimize women.

          *the sexually assaulted are taught that they are not to blame for what has happened to them and the rapists are taught that they are the only ones responsible.

          *In a feminist's dream world, women are safe AND they can drink as much as much as men. Effort behind this goal must come from all sides before we can say things like "men and women should be able to drink the same amount at parties," and before we can forget about the current obstacles that come along with that idea.

There were many, many, other parts of the article that I would love to argue over, but I think it would make me too angry to do so.

Instead, I have this message for the author: don’t leave feminism; comment where you see problems and improve feminism. What is feminism to one person is not feminism to everyone. One person’s blurted statement is only a part of the larger conversation. It is up to the rest of us find the rest of the pieces. When it all comes down to it, a feminist is “someone who believes in the social, political, and economic equality of the sexes.” Don’t quit it because someone says something problematic; be the next voice that challenges that idea, and keep the original goal going.