Most people know and comprehend what the word bisexual means
yet dismiss it as a sexuality. I dated a boy for 2 years, and I am currently
dating a girl. I have known for a very long time that I am bisexual.
When I was dating my boyfriend and told people I was
bisexual they asked how that could be; if I was dating a boy, I had to be
straight.
When I was single and told guys I was bisexual they asked if
that meant I wanted to have a threesome or asked if they could watch me hook up
with a girl.
When I was single and told girls I was bisexual they thought
I was hitting on them.
While dating my girlfriend and telling people I’m bisexual
they questioned how that could be; if I’m dating a girl, I have to be a
lesbian.
I will always be bisexual, regardless if I am dating a man
or a woman; my sexuality doesn’t change based on what gender I am dating. My
sexuality should not be erased nor assumed based on what gender I am dating.
Being bisexual does not mean I just want to sleep with
everyone.
Being bisexual does not mean I can’t control my sexual
urges.
Being bisexual does not mean I can’t have normal friendships
with people.
Being bisexual does not mean I’m attracted to everyone.
Being bisexual does not mean I’m a closet case homosexual.
Being bisexual does not mean I’m trying to take advantage of
my straight privilege.
If I am kissing a girl I’m not just doing it to turn on a
straight guy. I am not just indecisive or confused. No, I’m not hitting on you.
And NO I do not want to have a threesome with you.
Try saying, "I'm bisexual -- and monogamous. So no."
ReplyDeleteAlthough I applaud our generation for being progressive in acceptance and equality, I must admit that I am in the dark in terms of knowledge about the bisexual community. Your post has helped me understand many of the issues bisexual people likely face in their day-to-day lives, and how much of society views bisexuality. Would you say that our generation (18-34 years of age) is more understanding and knowledgeable about bisexuality than older generations? Or is it similar?
ReplyDeleteFrom the perspective of the "over 50" generation, I can say that the acceptance of bisexuality (as well as intersexuality and asexuality and so on) is much higher than in any post-WWII generation.
DeleteGay (male) and lesbian (female) sexuality wasn't talked about in the 60s. It started coming out of the closet in the 70s and AIDS made everyone aware of it in the 80s, but no one took bisexuality seriously.
Prior to WWII (and prior to Kinsey and Masters&Johnson), no one said anything publicly about any aspect of sexuality. Alternatives to heterosexuality existed, but polite people ignored it.
I really liked this post because one of my best friends is bisexual, she slightly prefers to date females but men are still an option as well. It all honestly comes down to who she feels a connection with. There have been times I have seen guys hit on her telling her that they'll turn her straight and it always throws me off. If she does decide to date one of them...that doesn't mean she's straight.
ReplyDeleteIt frustrates her so much when she's dating a certain gender and is deemed either a lesbian or straight, because being bisexual is very different, just as you stated. You hit the nail directly on the head.
"I have seen guys hit on her telling her that they'll turn her straight and it always throws me off."
DeleteHow you feel about it is your issue. How does your bisexual friend deal with lines like this? Does she encourage the guys who say it, or give them the cold shoulder?
As Audrey said, "You hit the nail directly on the head." I have also had guys ask me for a threesome or if they could watch me make out with another girl, and on the outside I may have laughed or made a joke in response, but on the inside I was thinking about how ignorant they were being. I too find it aggravating when people make assumptions about bisexuals and as I said I've found some to be very ignorant. But to be honest I don't think all guys intend to come across that way, it's more that they just don't understand the meaning of bisexuality. My point being, I think it was awesome of you to create a post addressing and clarifying this and hopefully it will help people understand bisexuality better.
ReplyDelete