So you’re telling me I’m supposed to have kids?

Although stereotypes and gender roles have improved, some still need work. What I’m referring to is how women are “supposed” to have children. In the past couple of decades yes, all women had children and those who didn't were looked down upon. Times have changed however.

In earlier times, most women would go to school, meet a man (or if not, be set up with one), get married and then have babies. Not anymore! Nowadays many women are more career oriented and do more than just be simple housewives. This doesn't change the fact that many of us are still being pressured into them though.

I’m half Greek and half Lebanese. Both cultures are known for having big, loud and crazy families. I’m a very cultured individual and love my heritage. I’m the oldest girl of all my cousins so naturally everyone expects me to get married and have children first. My grandmother talks about it all the time and my younger cousins always ask if my current boyfriend and I are getting married.

I feel for the other women who go through the same things as I do but actually don’t want children. What really grinds my gears is when people tell a female who doesn't want children that she will change her mind. Don’t make assumptions for other people! Not having kids isn't the end of the world. If your parents want grandchildren that bad, buy them a cat or something.

If the world wants to know my personal choice on the matter, yes, I do want to eventually be married and have children. My choice wasn't made because my family wants me to, it’s because I made it. I’m twenty-one now and there are still things I want to do and experience! I want to have an established career and buy my own place before even thinking of having children. That’s just me.

Not a Compliment

Not too long ago, a video that showed a woman walking down the street while men around New York City catcalled and commented on her, found its way all over Facebook feeds and other forms of social media. In the original video, she walked through the city over the course of 10 hours, never speaking, merely continuing down the road. The only voices in the video were that of some of the 100+ men that wanted to comment on her appearance or speak to her, while all she wanted was to continue on her way. The video was all too accurate for women that live in big cities who experience this firsthand. If you do go watch the video, maybe I should warn you about the many negative reaction videos that were created in response to this. And even if you don’t agree with the way the video was made or those who created it, it did spark some important conversations about catcalling that shouldn't be ignored. 

Some of those conversations included the horrible opinion that catcalling is a compliment and that women want compliments from men and this kind of behavior “bolsters ego.” 

But most women don’t dress to be complimented. Whether they are in a dress on the way to work or sweat pants on the way to school, they put these clothes on with the thought that they look good (to themselves! Not to others!) or because they were comfortable and ready for the day. The woman in the video was wearing a black t-shirt, jeans, and sneakers; that didn't stop the comments. An article responded that one of the only ways to avoid catcall harassment was to just never leave the house or don't be a woman. Catcalls could happen no matter what you wear. 

There is a light in the dark: that horrible comment created some positive counter arguments on twitter, including the hashtag #DudesGreetingDudes. It featured statements like “Hey bro, you should smile more, you look really handsome when you smile.” All the tweets serve to argue that if catcalling is really a compliment, why don’t guys do it to other guys?

Catcalls are not compliments, not even the lowest form of compliment. They tend to be closer to harassment than compliment and make the girl just traveling down the road to get to her destination feel uncomfortable and sometimes very unsafe. Forget the original video itself and remember that this is something many women have to deal with in their everyday lives. Most of them do not feel complimented and are probably very tired and annoyed with the comments they hear when just walking down the street.  

More Faces Behind Protests

If you have been watching the news coverage of the protests taking place in place in Ferguson, or even now in New York, who is it you see often see interviewed or photographed? Most of the time, it is men at the front of the scene; they tend to have louder voices or higher hands in the air and are ready to use them to express their opinions to the world. But it’s important to realize that there are also women that are trying to make their voices heard as well, though they may not get the most of the spotlight. 

We have to remember that women have played a prominentrole in organizing many of these important, history writing protests. Women of color are reaching out to tell their personal stories and attempt to change their society. These female activists are not only struggling with the issue of race but are also attempting to tear down the gender barrier that often prevents them from being listened to. It’s not just men making history here, and these women might even have much more to say about these issues. Refusing to be silenced, these women have “elbowed to the front of protest lines.” They have refused to back down and others have started “organizing their own demonstrations,” taking to the streets in the days after Michael Brown’sshooting and now after the non-indictment of Darren Wilson.

“We're in a century where women are no longer satisfied to have their leadership channeled through someone else,” said Traci Blackmon, a pastor in the Ferguson-adjoining city of Florissant, in and LA times article. “When it comes to being a black woman, you deal with the oppression of both race and gender. I'm standing for all of black lives,” said Brianna Richardson in the same article. Kayla Reed, a pharmacy technician from University City, said “there's actually more women than men. A lot of times you'll see women on the bullhorn -- we're not just coming in after the fact, cleaning up, making sandwiches.” So, although the news coverage tends to only show the men with the loudest voices, we should make sure that they are not the only ones being heard. After all, the history and potential changes in the making are not only being constructed my men, but by brave women willing to stand up for what is right.

Disney: Taking Ground Breaking Strides!

In late January 2014, Disney did something that not many believed would actually happen. On the hit show, Good Luck, Charlie! Disney producers had Charlie have a play date with one of her friends from school. At the beginning, Charlie’s mom and dad get into an argument about what little Taylor’s mom’s name is.. Susan? Or Cheryl? However, when Taylor shows up for the play date, Disney makes it clear that both were right!

            Charlie’s mom greets Susan at the door, because they have met before. And as if it is normal (like it should be) Susan introduces Charlie’s mother to “Taylor’s other mom, Cheryl!” Dad invites everyone into the house where Charlie’s dad Bob says, “Taylor has two moms!” almost as if saying ha-ha, we were both right. “Nothing gets passed you Bob!” Charlie’s mom says to him, and the play date continues as normal.

            Finally! Disney is making it clear and obvious they have a gay family on TV. A Disney spokesperson told TV Guide that “they episode was developed to be relevant to kids and families around the world and to reflect themes of diversity and inclusiveness.” Go Disney!

            However, not everyone was on the same page with Disney’s plan. “One Million Moms, a far-right conservative group, launched an email campaign in 2013 that urged Disney officials to abandon their plans to corrupt the children’s network with LGBT content.” However, Disney officials never responded. Two points for Disney in my book! This is the “new normal” and my bet is sooner or later we’re going to have an openly-gay Disney princess in the bunch (I earlier talked about the possibility of Elsa’s sexuality hidden in Frozen in my most recent blog, so maybe there’s a better chance than we think!)

            And apparently, I’m not the only one who had something positive to say towards Disney’s steps in the right direction. Both Miley Cyrus and openly bisexual actress Evan Rachel Wood had positive words of encouragement, too! And if you want to check out the totally awesome clip from Good Luck Charlie, here's the link! https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KoEBdCsrOVs

I Am Not Famous Anymore

Men can get raped.

But “He was hard, that’s consent!”

Did you know that infants are capable of forming an erection? In fact, fetuses have been proven to form an erection in utero. I doubt that you would argue an infant is consenting to anything other than being fed and changed.

Boys before adolescence are capable of erections, are they consenting?

Adolescent boys are capable of erection, but now their physical reactions are what determine consent? Their body is now the form of consent, not their words?

The human body is not consent.

Not fighting is not consent.

Silence is not consent.

YES is consent. (Even after saying yes, you have the right to change your mind!)

Shia Labeouf recently reported having been raped during an art performance on Valentines Day this year. When the news came out many people made comments about how men can’t be raped, and how “he must have liked it.” I’m sorry what? Do you know what rape is? When the twitter trend #YesAllWomen came into play, tons of men were going off saying how “men get raped too!” Yet here is a man that has come forward about his rape and everyone got silent real quick. Some men even have the audacity to call Labeouf “pathetic, and attention seeking.” The idea that women can’t rape men is completely archaic. The thought that men are always supposed to be strong and never show weakness is a stereotype we should try and get rid of.

Queen Elsa: Letting Go Of Her Sexuality?

Recently, I read a blog online that talked about how Disney has finally begun to represent the LGBTQ community, and maybe in a way that we didn’t think was that obvious. 

            Could Queen Elsa from Frozen be a lesbian? Coming from a family and working at a day care that has definitely taken part in the Elsa epidemic, I never thought Elsa to be anything but a princess with a frozen secret, but that may not be the case after all. Before I start to touch upon the events in Elsa’s life that could very well represent her being lesbian, Frozen could quite possibly have an obvious gay family. Whether you noticed it during the first (or 1,000^th) view of the movie, Oaken, the man from “Wandering Oaken’s Trading Post Sauna” having the “Big Summer Blowout… Yoo hoo!” offers one of the characters, Kristoff the sauna package, and then introduces his family.

If you look carefully at the picture it looks like the man in the middle is seen to represent Oaken’s husband, and their 4 children; his family.  And with just a brief moment of screen time Oaken has possibly become a major character in Disney’s approach to normalize the LGTBQ community on the Pixar screen.

            But, what is it about Elsa makes it possible that she’s a lesbian? Well, to start, Elsa has a secret. Everybody knows that Elsa’s secret is that she holds the ability to create snow and ice with her hands. But does Elsa’s secret have a deeper meaning? When Elsa was younger, her and her sister Anna played together with Elsa’s powers never thinking twice about them. Could this be related to children not judging others based on their sexuality until they are told not to accept it? The pair was unstoppable and accepting of Elsa, that is, until her parents insisted that Elsa keep it to herself, and to never let anybody know. When Elsa can no longer hide these “powers” and makes them known to everybody in public, they are infuriated. Elsa is a monster, because it’s something they have never seen before, something they don’t understand.

            As soon as Elsa leaves on her own, she feels herself. She is not ashamed to use these “powers” to represent herself where she cannot be judged for something she cannot control.

And of course, Elsa’s most famous part of the movie: “Let It Go!” She literally says:

“Couldn’t keep it in, heavens know I’ve tried,” could she be referring to her sexuality?

“Conceal, don’t feel, don’t let them know. Well know they know!” possibly referring to parents demand that her “secret” remain secret? Well now they know!

“I don’t care what they’re going to say!” Elsa accepting herself because of whom she is?

And finally, Elsa’s ending line: “The cold never bothered me anyway.” Could this be Disney’s way of having Elsa express that being gay never bothered her anyway, Elsa embraces her “power,” and quite possibly her sexuality.

The very obvious finale to the entire movie is that Elsa does not find her prince at the end of this Disney classic, like all the others do. Instead, she finds true love in the acceptance of herself, and more importantly her sister, who always seemed to love her anyways, despite Elsa’s differences. After pushing everyone away because she knew she was different, Elsa comes to terms with herself when she “Lets it go” by accepting herself which therefore allows her to be in control of her powers, just as she was as a child before she was taught to be ashamed of who she was and of something that she could not control. With Elsa accepting herself could she be coming to terms with her sexuality, letting her sister love her for who she is, and learn to not be ashamed of something that she could not control, could this all be a representation of her being a lesbian? What do you think? Is Elsa a confused blonde with an ice power nobody understands, or is there an underlying message about this Ice Queen?

Stop Blaming The Victims

Following Emma Watson’s UN speechon gender equality, she received threats on the internet from people declaring that they would find her private photos and leak them to the world. Although it was later declared a hoax, this threat is no laughing matter. This potentially career ruining action was taken against actresses such as Jenifer Lawrence, Kate Upton, Kristen Dunst, Anna Kendrick, and many other famous women. Response to these leaks always includes victim blaming; comments included things like “She shouldn't have taken the pictures to begin with,” and “She shouldn't have kept them on her phone if she did not want them to be seen” fill comment threads on articles, even the ones that specifically explain why the hackers who released the photos are the only ones to blame for the incidents.

For some reason, many people who have heard about this situation do not seem to agree that everyone deserves their own privacy, celebrity or not. When their privacy is taken it is often seen as the victim’s fault, never the fault of the one who took their well-deserved privacy from them. In this world, these celebrities – especially the women – cannot have the privacy they need, even on their phones. One article stated that “We are neverallowed to forget how the rules are different for girls.” The price of their fame is that these women seem to lose their equally deserved right to privacy and then are blamed when it is taken from them. If they take pictures like the ones that were stolen from their phones, they are at risk of them being found by any stranger who knows the basics of hacking. Although some have argued that devices meant for “Mass communication” should not be used to take pictures like these, mass communication was not agreed to by the sender or the phone owner, and these pictures should never have been released for the world to see.

We need to stop blaming the victim of these crimes and realize how incidents like these can damage or ruin an actress’s career. They often cannot escape this incident or wipe it from other’s minds; they would never have chosen for this to happen to them, and they are not to blame. Anyone who views the pictures or laughs about the idea of another actress, such as Emma Watson, having her private pictures released, is contributing to the damage and abuse caused to these actresses. Those people, along with the hackers, are to blame for the problems created by the leaked photos, not the victims. We need to respect the privacy of these actresses, and should stop the spread of their private photos around the internet. We all deserve and need our privacy, famous or not, and should not be blamed when it is taken from us.